Posted by
Annie on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 12:00:00 AM
Could the real problems and confusion exisitng in our country go back many, many moons, in fact before you were born? A grandmother discusses the moral erosion in America starting back in the 'baby boomer" era.
Together let’s investigate the social changes that parents, grandparents and caregivers have experienced first-hand. This “new era” started many, many years ago and the changes were subtle at first and seemingly rather insignificant. So don’t surmise that our younger generation caused the decline of human worth and values.
But, the sad fact is our young people will be the ones who clean up our mess, if we don’t step forward and help. Take a walk with me back to the time that our government was a respected authority – they were supportive and proud of their nation under, “God.”
Our leaders prayed together and didn’t hide in the closet fearing that public prayer would offend someone. This was a time when morality and spirituality was the adhesive that kept our country strong.
Child abuse, teen pregnancy and drugs were a rarity and marriage was a sacred institution. Divorce wasn’t condoned; in fact it wasn’t a viable alternative.
Mothers held a most honorable position in the family – they didn’t drink, curse or play around. Children respected, loved and cherished their mothers, because they were great role models and the glue that held family units together.
Fathers were dependable, hardworking men, loyal to their employer and the shepherds who watched over their flock. Yes, fathers were qualified to be the head of the household; they were an accountable, honorable group of men, who accepted their role of husband and father with pride.
Fathers and mothers instilled human values in their children that would help them succeed as young mature adults. Children had parameters along with love, mentoring and discipline; they learned to respect themselves and others. At this time parenthood was touted as the “in thing.” So what happened to change parenthood so drastically?
First, the baby boomers arrived on the scene in the early 40’s – they were the groovers and movers who defied reality, morality and spirituality. It was like letting a bunch of kittens make a sand box out of the flowerbed; the boomers played around until all the sand and dirt was gone.
They were the dreamers, schemers and the ones who fantasized about life in general. I was one of those boomers, so this isn’t here-say or conjecture about what was happening during that period of time.
We flew by the seat of our pants without short or long-term goals. Our generation was somewhat like a fairytale without a happy ending. We flatly refused to conform to the code of morals and ethics that had sustained our Nation for years; we jumped on the express to nowhere and morals took a big hit and so did our kids.
This was about the time that some of our children started suffering from that complex pain mentioned in earlier chapters. Along with the boomers, came the birth of a new child psychology, which advocated allowing children to be free (whatever that means.)
This new child philosophy changed parenthood and in my mind was the beginning or birth of “role reversal” between parent and child, which we’ll visit at a later time. So for the next several generations the “good parent and good child syndrome” plodded along with a few raving reviews from the meddlers and peddlers.
The ironic thing about this era is this – Dr. Spock changed his mind years later and decided that parents were naturally equipped to mentor, discipline and raise their children without meddling fingers and all the sophisticated psychological intervention. For some strange reason very few parents heard this message from Spock – it was “too little, too late.”
So within a few short years America had received a double whammy created by the boomers and some off the wall child psychology. Yep, we let our children run free with few restrictions – this was the time when our old standby “No” became a forbidden household word.
Now we go to the third drastic change, which was the women’s movement. This movement wasn’t toddling anymore; it was running at top speed in search of power, fame and that bloody fortune, we keep hearing about.
Many women were forfeiting their awesome profession of “motherhood” in exchange for a few piddly dollars. Here we’re talking about a trade off that definitely should have been addressed in a different manner.
No doubt, women needed more education and men needed to share the wealth so to speak, but something was wrong with this movement because our children took the hit and to this day are still suffering from this movement.
Our Nation in their usual fashion supported and encouraged women on their power trek; we knew in our hearts it was the right thing to do. But, in many respects this was a poor judgment call because, our concentration was on women and their rights with total disregard to our children’s rights!
Our children were discarded and kicked out of the equation or at least placed way down the list of priorities. I certainly don’t have all of the answers; I’m just telling the story the way I see it! In 2008, our young girls are still being groomed for the professional work force and egged on by what I refer to as the “equality struggle of the genders.”
At this time, the US Department of Education estimates that approximately 57% of college enrollees are female. It seems Motherhood has been devaluated and is considered a somewhat antiquated profession that needs to be relegated to the ancient history shelf.
Brainwashed and spit out again – Motherhood is a “God” given gift and is still and will always be the ultimate profession. My bet is the children who are young adults now that experienced 18 years under the vigilance of non-parental caregivers and the meddlers, while mom was out making a few bucks would give their right arm if mothers would resume their position as Mother, friend and role model once again.
Due to the weakening moral codes created by the boomers, modern psychology and the women’s movement, our Nation reeks with child abuse, teen pregnancies, addictions, murder and high school dropouts.
Marriage isn’t exactly considered a sacred institution anymore – it resembles a withered piece of fruit on a spindly old tree that falls apart if a storm or hard wind hits it.
Many just pass on marriage and opt for shacking up together. “Shacking Up” eliminates the moral and spiritual pressures, but once again the children are the ones who suffer. Shacking up is somewhat like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole – nothing about this relationship has a good fit and sooner or later time seems to take its toll and the children take the hit.
Divorce in 2008 is a household name, as common and casual as taking a walk in the park. Like the latest fashions – our attitude is “tired of the old clothes, just trade them in for some new.” But,what about the children?
After studying some divorce statistics in the US, it has been discovered that there are two common factors; (1) Infidelity, and (2) family stress account for approximately 50% of our divorces.
Several studies suggest that women are usually the ones to initiate divorce proceedings. Why should that be a surprised, we’re the heavy weights at the Presidential Polls in 2008! Another fairly new fad is single mothers (by choice); they select a sperm donor or choose a life of cohabitation and this is perceived to be the norm.
Not in by book, these groups of women have tossed morality out the window and as we speak are participating in a dangerous and lonely game. Than again, I’m just an ole fashioned grandmother! This lifestyle actually places many women in a state of limbo, swaying back and forth between mother hood and their profession, without a place to call home.
These women are trying to fit into a pair of parental shoes that will probably result in two things: (1) Non parental caregivers will raise their child, and (2) The child born in this unatural environment will have many challenges in their young adulthood.
Many mothers will some day have to take a long hard look at their precarious position in the family, because they do drink, curse and play around. Unfortunately, it’s the children who will have a lifetime of suffering, because these ladies couldn’t give up their promiscuous ways.
Fathers will have to revisit their lifestyles and once again resume the honorable position as head of the household. Fathers must fight for their “rights” and become strong role models for their children and assume the awesome responsibility of parenthood.
Dads can’t sit back anymore and watch the rest of the crazy world go by – their children need them, now. It’s sort of like Winston Churchill said many years ago, “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.” It’s time to do the right thing for our children and our country.
It’s not about you, nor is it about me – it’s about our children. Let’s work together and leave our children a legacy to be proud of that will ring the bells of history and not be relegated to the ancient history shelf as a “flop.”
As Always, Annie